It was the worst of times, it was the best of times. By worst, I don't mean that marriage was hard already...Mary and I just got married on October 20th, and we had three solid weeks of work to do before going on our honeymoon. I had reports due, and she had searches in mid-stream, and I was getting home at 9:00 or later each night. We both were counting the days for November 10th to start the two week vacation we (or should I say she) had been planning for months.
We got on the 777, no upgrade this time, and after a smooth flight and landing followed by a very short wait for the luggage, we were on our way to the Hertz counter to pick up a Toyota Corolla. Definitely not my favorite vehicle. It's completely gutless, I swear I could hear the rubber bands unwinding each time I stepped on the pedal. Also, the cockpit layout, especially the steering wheel, seems a little awkward. Can't complain about the gas mileage though.
After realizing that we had nothing to do for the next two weeks, we figured out the map and made our way to Ka'anapali Beach. I wasn't certain about what we were doing that week (I had agreed to a few things), but I wasn't worried because I knew that Mary was armed with The Blue Book, and the days would be as packed as we wanted them to be.
But the first order of business was the need to satisfy a life-long curiosity--I needed to know what a mai tai tasted like.
Mai Tai's
According to the International Bartenders Association, the mai tai recipe is
- 3cl (6 parts) white rum
- 3cl (6 parts) dark rum
- 1.5cl (3 parts) orange curaçao
- 1.5cl (3 parts) Orgeat syrup
- 1cl (2 parts) fresh lime juice
Shake all ingredients except the dark rum together in a mixer with ice. Strain into glass and float the dark rum onto the top. Garnish with pineapple slice and serve.
I'm not sure how many bartenders in Hawai'i use this particular recipe, most of them pre-mix their mix, but I promise all bars we visited served them on the rocks.
I'll summarize my thoughts quickly...mai tai's are variable, but in general they are very tasty. Fruity, but not overly sweet. You'll find that almost every restaurant or bar in Hawai'i has a 'World Famous' mai tai, but I think those words are overly used, much like the word 'brilliant.' Throughout this blog I'll talk about my personal Mai Tai Rating (MTR) in addition to discussing their cuisine.
The Westin
All in all, the Westin on Ka'anapli is a very cool place. The foyer is filled with flora and fountains, they have the best pools in Ka'anapali, and their food menus, if not exactly loaded with choices, are pretty good. Their breakfast buffet is also nicely stocked with fresh fruit, salmon, the usual eggs, sausage, and bacon, as well as an omelette station. Supposedly, you are supposed to wait until the host seats you, but if you just put your paper on the table and grab a plate, they won't bother you too much.
The Westin, Sheraton, and Hyatt have a sweet deal worked out between them; you can use the services of the other hotels (except for the pools, I think) and charge them to your room. Not a bad idea, and this works out real well because the Sheraton has the largest beach and best snorkeling.
I do have a few bones to pick:
First, if you are a bartender and the patron asks you if it's happy hour, and the patron orders a top shelf marguerita with Petron and a pina colada, then you, the bartender, should tell the patron that the happy hour applies to mai tai's only and the marguerita is about to cost 18 dollars while the pina colada will cost you 12. If you, the bartender, do not inform the patron of that, understand that the patron is most likely not going to tip you because he didn't expect a 30 dollar bar bill, you smug jerk. Their mai tai's are okay with an MTR of 7.5.
Second, I know that Hawai'i is a wonderful place, and I recognize that sometimes people like to return to the same vacation spot on an annual basis. I also recognize that the free market economy gave someone the great idea of allowing people to purchase 'partial ownership of a luxuriously furnished apartment home that has an ocean view.' That being said, it does not mean that my wife and I enjoy walking along the beach being barked at every five minutes by overzealous not-good-enough-for-real estate agents asking if we want to buy a timeshare. Sometimes, the more aggressive 'salespeople', if you could call them that, asked us repeatedly if we had changed our minds yet. We haven't, and we won't.
Third, recognizing that there are many early morning events in Maui that start at 7:00 or earlier, and that breakfast should be served at a time when you can make these events. Having breakfast start at 6:30 is just too late, three times we were rushed to eat because the staff was having a little party while the breakfast was already good to go.
Finally, when checking in, I was kidding when I asked for the room that was closest to the elevators and near the construction. Granted, we weren't close to the elevator, the view was awesome, and I understand construction is part of the hotel business, but I didn't like waking up to a hammer drill on my honeymoon.
A view of the Sheraton from the Westin Beach. Great snorkeling by the Black Rock
Whaler's Village
One advantage of Ka'anapali Beach is the Whaler's Village, which is an outdoor mall that has most of the common chic stores (except Linens and Things). It's a good place to get your sandals, hats, Tommy Bahamas shirts, and bathing suits. If you have the chance, be sure to get your picture taken (preferably with your new spouse) with the whale's skeleton.
Monday, November 12th
Haleakala Canyon
Our first planned activity was a horseback ride down Haleakala Canyon. The road to Haleakala National Park is over 20 miles of long, twisty mountainous road with little to no shoulder to speak of. Those geographic characteristics are what make the white-knuckled people riding rental bikes all the way down so much fun to watch. Well, maybe not so fun, apparently there are one or more serious biking accidents (some fatalities) a week, and considering there isn't a single guardrail the whole way down, it's not a surprise.
What is surprising is the landscape. The lower elevations of Maui are tropical, but the upper elevations are a 'crater' (which apparently formed from glacial activity) that consists of mostly barren volcanic rocks and sparse vegetation. A great way to tour the 'crater' is by horseback.
You wouldn't believe it, but it is important to choose the right vendor to use for horseback riding. If you want to have a safe and rather entertaining ride, take the Pony Express, as recommended by the Blue Book. If you would like to potentially ride a skittish horse that will later throw you while you're on a narrow trail surrounded by rocks, then you are welcome to The Other Horseback vendor. More on this later.
Our trail guide went by the name 'Ra', the Egyptian sun god. It was a nickname he got from an interest in Egyptian artifacts while he was a member of the Yosemite Search and Rescue team. He was a good tour guide with just a little bit of an edge (e.g. 'Feel free to ask questions, after all there are no stupid questions. Actually, there are plenty of them, but I promise I won't laugh too hard').
We mounted our horses: mine was named Curly because of his curly mane and hair, while Mary's was named Keala, which is a Hawaiian name that means 'Confused Tourist'. It was a bit cold, but we were prepared by bringing our jackets and long pants. After a short walk with our sure-footed horses around a small outcropping followed by a steep, rocky descent, we were blessed with a vista of lava rocks, clouds, ocean, and vegetation in a combination that literally causes one to pause and realize how small we really are. Photos cannot describe it adequately, but we tried to capture them as best as we could.
Mary on Keala at the beginning of the trip
That's the ocean underneath the clouds
It's sad when the horse looks better than you do.
Cinder cones from volcanic activity, although the rest of the crater was formed from glacial activity.
These plants are called Silverswords. The guide said that they only grow in Haleakala Canyon.
As we approached the bottom of the canyon on the narrow trail, the Other Horseback Vendor had chosen not to wait for us to reach the bottom of the canyon before starting up the reverse trail. This meant that we had to move over to the right as far as possible while the other horses and their riders slowly walked by. However, as I alluded to before, one of the horses in the other group was very skittish (biting the other horses and actually falling on the ground trying to get rid of his saddle), and the rider was a first timer who pulled back on the reins until the horse reared and threw him off down the steep hill. Only because of sheer luck the rider didn't get brained on one of the many rocks.
This is where the Search and Rescue side of our guide came in; he was very calm in telling the rest of the group to move about 50 yards ahead while quickly riding up the hill to see if the rider was okay.
Luckily, the hapless rider was fine, but probably really angry. We left him to his group and went down to the bottom of the canyon and had a deli lunch complete with wasps and nature's bathroom.
The wasps were an opportunity for our guide to return to the slightly edgy side. I had just returned from my biological break, and the packed lunch was laid out and everyone was eating, except Mary. The guide was sitting down, smiling, and chowing away while my wife was just staring at the food. I asked her if she was hungry, and she said yes, but there were wasps. I told her that they won't bother her, and she replied with a bit of wisdom that I hope to never forget.
'You don't get to choose your phobias.'
True, very true.
Oh well, I went to the lunch basket, grabbed our sandwiches and drinks, flicked away one wasp, poured another one out of my guava juice, and the guide, while smiling, pointed out a place that was less infested than the rest. I figured that he's allowed to be a little smug because he spent years of his life saving the lives of strangers.
The ride back up was easier than the ride down, and we finished the ride completely saddlesore by 4:00 or so.
Tuesday, November 13th
Beach Time
I tell you, there is nothing like waking up at 8:30, and realizing your most difficult task for the day is putting on sunscreen. Not to trivialize the process of sunscreening, after all, it requires a good 5-10 minutes of laborious lathering to get 100% coverage of the body, neck, feet, back, and ears (don't forget the ears), but after the initial application, the rest of the day is a breeze.
The Ka'anapali Beach is nice, but it's even nicer if you have a large umbrella with two lawn chairs, a book for each of you, and absolutely nothing else to do that day except swim in the ocean. The umbrellas are 30 bucks, but it's worth it.
Lunch at The Hula Grill
Mary had told me that our friend Brent had worked as a busboy at the Hula Grill, so it seemed appropriate to have lunch there at least once. However, because of the MTR of 9.2 and the excellent pork sandwich, the Hula Grill became our regular spot.
The service is good, most of the wait staff were college educated because they were taking a year off before graduate school. And, as I hinted, the Mai Tais were the best we had during the honeymoon.
Surfing
Mary and I were going through our books rather quickly, I was reading Imajica by Clive Barker, and she was reading Treason by somebody. But throughout the day, I was getting restless and had already went for a couple of long swims out to the anchor buoys and back. It was then I looked over near the Marriott and saw some people surfing.
A little bit of history. About three years ago I had went on vacation to Ocean Beach near San Diego, and for four days I had tried to learn to surf. I had learned all the mechanics of spotting waves, sitting on the board, paddling, and even could catch the wave and boogie board it. However, each time I put both feet on the board and took my hands off, I would have a balance problem and would tumble into the waves, wondering which way was up. At the end of that week, my final attempt was burned into my memory. I had stood up on the board for three glorious seconds, triumphantly prideful, until the back of the board kicked up, and I was thrown forward. I landed square with my chest smashing into the sand, and I was gasping for air as my heels kicked the back of my head. I limped out of the ocean with my surfboard dragging, beaten like a mule.
For some reason, I felt like I needed another shot at that.
There were a couple of surf shops along the beach, so I grabbed my credit card and signed the waiver saying that I was risking my life and if I died it was my own damn fault. The lady handing out the surfboards was one of those people who looks fine now for her age in her dark bronze tan, but you can tell that the dermatologists are just drooling for her to show up in ten years asking for botox and what this dark growth on her back is. Just remember, like the article said, 'Wear Sunscreen'.
So I carry this huge piece of lumber about 300 yards to the Marriott beach, thinking that the small waves may be just perfect for a second try, and maybe I wouldn't eat so much sand this time.
I strapped on the tether and to my surprise and horror, the sand ended about 1 foot into the ocean and it turned into solid coral. Solid, spiny coral that will literally shred your feet. I looked around and noticed all of the other surfers were wearing booties, and I was wearing nothing. Needless to say, I was a little miffed that the Surf Shop lady didn't even warn me about it.
I went to the surf shop right in front of the beach and asked if I could rent some of the booties. The guy asked if I renting from Dig In, and not knowing what else to say, I said 'Sure.' He asked me my size and told me to drop them in the bucket when I was done. So then I ran to the shore and started to paddle out.
Of course, that's when the waves seemed to slow down a bit. I knew already that they came in sets, and had the chance to chat a little bit with other guys who were new to the area. They all said that the preferred way to fall was either a full belly-flop or back-flop so you don't smash into the coral, which seemed like good advice. I had a few tries, managed to catch a wave, but I ran into the same balance problem and fell again.
That was the case until I started talking to Paul. He was mentioning to a guy that he had had an ACL Reconstruction, to which I added 'Talk about a bad year.' He chuckled at that, we exchanged war stories (his was skiing, mine was football), and we both started paddling for waves.
Paul was a cop in NYC, and he then moved to Hawai'i to be a scuba instructor. Probably a good career decision. He asked if I ever actually stood on the board, and I honestly replied for 'three glorious seconds once', then he said I was doing everything right except I needed to place my feet on the center of the board, like snowboarders do.
First wave that came up, I paddled like hell, felt the energy of the wave transfer to the board, held on to the sides and walked up the center and placed my feet according to instructions. I then stood up, for more than three seconds, in fact, at least 10 seconds and there was no uncertainty in my stance. I had officially become a surfer. I got up a couple of more times before my two hours had run out, and managed to escape with only a few cuts to my hands.
I told Paul that Mary and I would come for a scuba dive the day after next. We showed up, but found out that Paul had hurt his back surfing. Funny how things like that happen.
[insert surfing picture]
Dinner in Lahaina
After a day of sunning, swimming, and surfing, I was famished. Mary was too, and we decided it was time to hit the town and get something to eat. Again, referring to the Blue Book, we found a spot called Pacific'O on Front Street in Lahaina.
Finding something on Front Street is not as easy as it sounds, it apparently runs the whole length of the town, and the postal codes are kind of hard to see. Not to mention the parking situation...it's as bad as San Francisco on a Friday night.
It's hard to decide how to describe Pacific'O...it's either excellent or extraordinary. Sure, most of the places in the area have a beach front view, and they all have nice plants and a list of fish with names you can't pronounce just like Pacific'O, but if you want food that will make you think of that meal for months...then come here.
I'm not a food critic, so I can't name the fish or sauces or vegetables used in the dish. All I can point out is the combination of fresh fish, an avocado spread and two other sauces blended together with a buttery, salty, creamy texture that just melted in my mouth. Mary was drooling throughout her meal, although I forgot what she got. I didn't order a mai tai, so the MTR is N/A, but the Banana Madness was pretty good.
In short, if you're in Lahaina, and you have about 60 bucks a plate to drop, go for it. It's awesome.
Wednesday, November 14th
Snorkeling
While spending the day swimming and surfing, we saw a bunch people get on and off large catamarans, presumably for snorkeling. One thing that was interesting was that the sails were wrapped up when they arrived, and wrapped when they returned.
We thumbed through the Blue Book and found their recommendation for a snorkeling trip. There were a couple of recommended snorkeling trips in the Blue Book, but the one that was available was Paragon Sailing Charters. Mary called and got us reservations for two at, ugh, 7:15 am.
After shoveling our breakfasts down way too quickly because the Westin not opening the breakfast buffet soon enough, we drove down the highway to Ma'alea and managed to find the harbor without too much effort (the giveaway was the big sign that said Ma'alea Harbor and hundreds of boats in their slips). We were running a few minutes late, and we discovered that the odd numbered slips were on the south side of the marina, where we parked, and we had to run to the even numbered slips on the north side where our charter was. We were there just in time, and we boarded the large catamaran with about 15 other guests and very average coffee and croissants.
Eric was the captain of the ship, and his helpers were Alessandro (clearly just off the boat from Italy) and another guide who didn't talk as much. Alessandro was starting his first day as a shipmate, and he seemed up to the task.
Eric gave us the lowdown on what we were going to do, and emphasized that we were in the windiest harbor in Hawai'i, and what they love to do is sail. The plan was to go to Molokini Crater, snorkel, eat lunch, have a couple of beers, and sail, weather permitting. Otherwise, our tasks were to hang out, enjoy the sun, and realize how good we had it.
I had never sailed, Mary did once, and I have to admit, it was a blast. I've been seasick once before in my life, and believe me once is enough, but there wasn't too much chop and the wind was strong enough to have us moving toward the crater at a pretty good clip. The catamaran had trampolines in the middle between the hulls, and if you hit a pretty good wave, you would get a little surprise splash.
Some of the people kept to themselves, some of them you wished would keep to themselves, but there were a few people that made the trip enjoyable. There was a couple that were both doctors, one an ER doctor, the other a heart surgeon, and they were the most interesting to talk with. They also liked my joke:
Q: What do you call the person in med school who finished the bottom of the class?
A: Captain.
If you didn't get it, here's a hint. Military doctors are officers.
We arrived at the crater, and Alessandro had to jump in with the anchor line to attach boat to the mooring chains. Clearly it was his first day because it took him a while to attach the anchor; he sure could hold his breath for a long time. After that, we received our somewhat poor snorkels (they had a purge valve, but no check valve on top of the snorkel to prevent water from getting in), and the captain said, "Have Fun, and grab some food when you're done". As you can see from the pictures below, we did. We had to use the motor for most of the trip back, but we did get to sail the last mile back against the wind doing cross-cutting. We told Eric that Alessandro should be a keeper, provided he could clean the boat.
This sail cost $10,000.
Not likely to get into National Geographic, but it was neat taking pictures while snorkeling
Thursday, November 15th
Beach Time
I could wax poetic for hours about how much fun hanging out on the beach, swimming, reading, eating lunch at the Hula Grill, drinking Mai Tais, and swimming in the pools. But, because I'm already up to about 3000 words, I'll leave it at that.
Dinner at Leilani's
I don't like to bash restaurants, so I'd say that if you should eat at Leilani's, be sure to grab an oceanview seat so you'll have something to talk about besides the food.
Friday, November 16th
Spa Day
One of the most thoughtful wedding gifts we received was purchased by my boss, Sean, while he was last in Hawai'i. The gift was a simple one...a gift certificate for a spa treatment at the Grand Wailea Resort. Mary signed us up for a hydrotherapy/couples massage session.
We were a little late getting there, but they were accomodating and let us have a half hour of hydrotherapy before and after the massage.
What is hydrotherapy? you may ask. My thoughts exactly. Mary and I went into separate doors, and I was met in the locker room by a guy named Steve (who clearly likes his job and his coffee). He gave me the tour. They have a variety of baths and showers that pummel you with water of all temperatures and velocities. They have the hot tub/cold splash pool combination similar to what I've seen in Japan and Korea, as well as a Swedish shower that shoots jets of water in all directions and a falling water shower that basically pours a heavy stream on top of your head. All of this begins with a brief scrub massage to supposedly relax you (although I think it's to make sure you're clean).
After a half hour of too much fun in the baths, I was called into the waiting room for the massage, Mary joined me shortly afterwards. After drinking a cup of water, we were met by our massage therapists, and led to the room to get ready. Mary and I both laid down on the massage tables and the massage therapists entered the room afterwards. Mine was a rather tiny Hawaiian lady who may weigh 90 pounds, and she asked my massage strength preference. I've never had a massage before, and I wondered just how much could it hurt, so I told her that she can do what she knows best, and if I say anything she can lighten up.
I said this before I knew that she was going to use her elbows. Jeez, you have no idea how 'deep' they can massage with their elbows until it hurts so much you can't say stop. Mary wasn't shy about saying that the other woman should lay off a bit, but for some reason, it seemed like a personal challenge to see how much pain I could take. This went on for about an hour, and then they finished us off with a technique that separates your head from your body by wrenching your neck, and leave you whimpering (oddly, with pleasure) telling you to get dressed and get out (very politely).
We both went back for our half hour of hydrotherapy (it was a good way to wash off the tears). We went to their restaurant and had an $18 dollar hamburger (with a Wonder bread bun) and a mai tai (MTR of 7.1). The Grand Wailea spas are excellent, the rest...I'm not so certain it's worth the price.
Saturday, November 17th
Off to Kaua'i
It was with sadness that Mary and I went to breakfast, packed, looked for our car in the overpacked parking lot, and checked out of the Westin. All in all, we had a blast, and both of us were wondering how Kaua'i could be any better. I wouldn't go so far as to say Kaua'i was better, but it was equally as good.
For that, you'll have to wait for the rest of the story...
1 comment:
Very cool Dennis! Sound like you had a blast.
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